If this were difference
by Writing Memories
Summary: "You only use my full name when you mad at me? Why are you mad at me?" Cas just sounded a little upset now. The sound of his voice made all the angry go out of Dean. No ghosts, demons or angels to deal with for one day. Well, expect one little angel that ends up spending the day with the Winchesters, trying to understand they're world a little better.


Cas did not understand this.

How did humans find this interesting and fun? Cas just didn't get it. But then again, humans always surprised him. Two of those humans being Sam and Dean Winchester.

And now Dean and Sam had poor Cas trying to understand this game and wanting him to join in. He would do anything for those two boy's that meant saving their lives, but this was not saving their lives. This was some sort of thing to pass the time. It involved running, sweating, and kicking a ball around and into a net. Sam and Dean seemed to be enjoying it thought.

Cas sat down on the edge of the grass, as they played football. He had that little smile on his face. It was nice to see them having fun. Nice to see them not having to worry about anything. And nice being here with them until Dean looked to Cas and smirked.

"How about…you Cas? How good are…angels at p-playing football?" Dean shouted over, a little out of breath and his hands on his hips. Sam was balancing the ball on his foot.

"I believe not very. We don't have time to play."

"Is heaven any fun at all?" Dean started to make his way over to Cas.

"Yes, Dean. We have parties every night."

"In that case you can bring me next time. I could be your plus one." Dean took a seat next to Cas. He turned to the cooler to get a beer. Sam was amusing himself with the football.

They had the day of and Sam and Dean were driving when they were passing an empty pitch. Dean had pulled over, told Sam to get out, found a ball on the pitch and started playing.

Cas on the other hand. Dean had prayed pretending he really needed him, Cas showing of course. He was a bit pissed when Dean said he had lied. But when he was told by them they wanted him here to spend the day with him, he couldn't help but smile.

"A plus one?" Cas didn't know what that mean. Dean should have guessed.

"When you are going to a party or wedding or that you can usual bring someone with you. See if you were more social able and had more friends you would know these kinds of things." Dean chuckled to himself as he looked over at Sammy trying to see how many times he could bounce the ball on his knee. There was always going to be that kid inside of them both that never got the innocent childhood. Where all you had to worry about was school, what toys you wanted, getting to bed before Santa came, and being in the playground with your best friend.

"I have enough friends. Besides they never stay friends for long." Dean could hear the sadness in Castiels voice. Dean knew the feeling all too well.

"Actually, you're wrong. Maybe most of them don't, but me and Sammy aren't going anywhere. We have both already been to hell and purgatory. Where else is left to go?" Dean took a sip from his bottle. He knew he could have said heaven, but come on, how is he ever going to be able to get up there for good, with his life.

"Well, heaven. But I'm guessing you just don't mean for a visit because you've done that. There's a place for you Dean. For you and Sam. There always has been." Cas looked to Dean who was looking right back at him.

"Cas, there is so many times I should have died. Sam to. So tell me why we are still here. And don't give me that, to save people, it's your purpose. crap." Dean saw the change in Castiels expression. The same sad look whenever Dean talked like this.

"It saddens me to hear you say those things, Dean. And even worse that whatever I say will not be a good enough reason, that it will not make it okay. So, I can't answer that."

"Well hey, at least you're honest. And whatever happens after this life, at least I had an angel as my best friend. Not everyone can say that." Dean chuckled as he took another sip from the bottle. Castiel grinned a little.

"Cas, just kick the ball before I kick your ass." Dean said as he stood beside Sam. Cas was in front of them looking down at the ball at his feet. Sam and Dean gave a look to each other that said _only Cas_.

"I don't understand where I kick it to." He looked up at them. He looked lost.

"Anywhere, dude!" Dean shouted. The next second Cas kicked the ball, hitting Sam right in the balls. Sam fell to the ground slowly, holding onto himself, to somehow stop and ease the pain. He moaned in pain.

Dean had taking a fit of laughter as he looked to his brother in pain, lying on the grass. Cas was shocked at what he done.

"Sam, I am sincerely sorry. I didn't know how hard to kick it."

"Pretty…hard." Sam managed to say through the pain. To say Sam felt like he was close to dying was an understatement.

"I can heal you."

"N-no-no…no, no, no." Sam made those _no's_ come out as quick as he could. He was not letting Cas touch him.

Sam was dying of pain and Dean was dying of laughter. Dean had to sit on the ground because he was laughing that much

"I'm really sorry, Sam." Cas couldn't feel anymore guilty. And Sam wouldn't let Cas help him make the pain go away.

"Cas, put the s-son of a bitch out of his m-misery." Dean started to calm himself down. It was still funny though. "Sammy, on a scale of heaven to hell how sore is it?"

"That d-doesn't make sense." Sam moaned as he pushed himself up from the ground.

"I'm going say its hell." Dean continued to laugh. He looked over at Cas who looked angry at himself. "Cas, buddy, he be alright. It's not the first time he got hit in the nuts."

"Cas could y-you do me a favour? Hit Dean in the balls for me. Maybe he will shut up then!" The pain wasn't as bad now, but it was still painful.

"I don't want to hurt, Dean." Dean smirked at Sam. Sam picked up the ball beside him and threw it as hard as he could at Dean, smacking it into his balls now.

"Fuck!" Dean shouted. Cas catches him before he falls with pain to the ground. Sam was the one laughing now.

"Sam, I don't think that was very nice. After all I was the one who kicked the ball at you." With a touch of Cas' hand Dean didn't feel pain anymore.

"Son of a bitch. The pains gone. Thanks Cas." Dean said gratefully to Cas. "Time to kick my brother's ass!" Dean had taking of running after Sam before Cas could say anything. Cas liked that they were his family. He never thought humans would become his family, especially the Winchester boy's. Like he said to Dean, the first time they met, _good things do happen, Dean._

* * *

"And I will have the pie and coffee please." Dean said to the young waitress who was taking their order. Cas is sat across from Dean and Sam in their booth. He's looking out the window as it starts to rain. People start rushing through the rain.

"What would you like sweetie?" Cas had heard Sam and Dean already saying what they wanted. He turned away from the window and to the young waitress who was smiling at him.

"Just a coffee, please." Cas said polity. She nodded before walking away. Dean and Sam looked at each other before looking back to a clueless Cas.

"Dude, did you not see that?"

"I don't understand. See what?" Cas gave a confused look to Dean.

"She likes you. You could get lucky." Sam raised his eyebrows with a smirk on his face.

"I don't want to _get lucky_ ,as you so put it." Cas did not feel comfortable talking about this.

"Just get _laid_ Cas. It might make you more easy going. But then again I've seen future Cas and let's just say he didn't know his limits." Dean chuckled. Before Cas could say anything back, the waitress was back at their table putting everything on the table. When she put Cas' coffee on the table, she left an napkin beside it.

"There you go, angel." She said sweetly. Dean nearly choked on his coffee. He hid it well though. The waitress hadn't noticed. She was too busy looking at Cas. "If you need anything else just let me know. I'll be at the counter." She left feeling like there was something between them.

Once she had gone, Dean picked up the napkin and flipped it over, revealing her number.

"I knew it! You lucky son of a bitch, Cas!"

* * *

"Are you not saying bye to your girlfriend?" Dean said as they got up from the table.

"Yeah dude, go and say bye. And if she asks you to call her for a date or that, just make up a lie." Sam said before heading out the door. Dean and Cas still stood at the table.

"What kind of lie?" Cas didn't want to do this.

"Just come up with me and I'll talk for you."

When they got up to the counter it was the waitress at the counter. Lily, it said when Dean looked at her name badge. She seemed more than happy when they came up, mostly because Cas was there.

"Was everything okay for you all?"

"Yes thank you, Lily." Dean handed her the money as she got his change out of the till. Anyone would of knowing she wasn't just going to let Cas walk out that door without saying something first. Dean glanced at Cas quickly, giving him a wink, before turning back to Lily who held out the change. He thanked her.

"So Lily, beautiful name by the way, my good friend Cas here he thinks you're sweet and all but unfortunately he can't go on a date with you." Dean was about to continue on when she spoke.

"I kind of guessed, but I don't like thinking I know when I don't really. I thought I would give it a shot anyways. You make a great couple by the way." She looked disappointed but smiled. Cas looked confused, while Dean tried to think of how to reply to that.

"Well, what can I say? He's my angel." Dean held back a chuckle and replaced it with a smile instead.

* * *

"That's one way of getting out of something like that. It was better than my excuse. And hey, I didn't even have to lie about you being my angel." Now Dean let out that chuckle as they made their way to the car.

"How did she think we were together?" Castiel looked behind him, feeling like she was watching, but she wasn't.

"Well, we were sharing _my_ pie, which by the way, Cas if you ever take any of my pie again your ass is going straight back up to heaven. Or maybe when Sam joked we were like an old married couple fighting over eating pie." They both chuckled at that.

"What are you two laughing at?" Sam asked curiously. "Does Cas have a date?"

"Nope got him out of that one."

"How? Did she think you two are together?" Sam joked.

"Yes. I am Dean's angel, as he said to her." Now Sam was laughing. Dean just shrugged.

"Well, y-y-you both do share a p-profound bond." Sam said as he chuckled. "Does your angel here want to sit in the front?" Sam wasn't really surprised that was how they got Cas from going on a date with that girl.

"See Sammy you never got over that profound bond thing."

"Yeah, yeah, Dean. Let's hit the road."

* * *

Dean was driving in the dark. He would never be able to remember how many times he had to drive in the dark. But he didn't mind, it was relaxing, even if he was tired sometimes.

Sam had been asleep the last hour. His head resting on his jumper against the window. It was the only time he could look at his brother and see peace in his face because when his eyes were open all he saw was pain, no matter how hard Sammy tried to hide it. He never wanted Sam to feel all this pain. Sometimes Dean though if he had never gone to get Sam when their dad went missing, maybe Sammy could have been happy. But even if it wasn't then Dean would have gone to get Sammy because he couldn't do this all alone.

"Cas?" Dean looked into the rear-view mirror to make sure he was still there. He was a sneaky son of a bitch sometimes. He was glad to still see Cas there. He had his head resting against the window.

"Yes?"

"If someone had someone very close to them, but that someone had seen everything one of their family members had to go through and their mind was erased, would they somehow ever be able to remember again over time of everything that was erased." He kept his eyes on the road. It was a little foggy out, making it harder to see. There was a long pause before Cas answered.

"If you mean Sam, then somehow I think he would. If it was anyone else I don't think so. But this is Sam. I'm sure he could over time."

"I didn't mean Sam. I just meant in general." Dean said quickly.

"No you didn't. I know what you are thinking, Dean."

"Fine. What am I thinking about now?" He tried to be a smart ass but he knew Cas would know.

"That I am being a dick, I believe."

"Congratulations! 10 points to Castiel." Dean knew he came across as sounding pissed, but he couldn't help it. _Damn angel_, with his _damn_ everything.

"You only use my full name when you mad at me? Why are you mad at me?" Cas just sounded a little upset now. The sound of his voice made all the angry go out of Dean.

"I'm sorry. I am. I just wish I could have protected Sammy from it all. I wish he could have just become a lawyer, married Jessica and had kids. Instead he's here and everytime I look into his eyes all I see is pain. I should have been a better brother." Angry was gone. But the pain was always there.

Cas leaned forward a little, closer to Dean.

"Dean you were four when it all happened. You raised Sam, cared, loved and protected him when your dad wasn't there. You tried to give him some kind of childhood and if it wasn't for you, who knows what would have happened to him. He's grateful every day for what you did. He's terrified of losing you and you are terrified of losing him. You are both going to keep on fighting on till the end, _together_." He felt like Cas really did understand him fully sometimes.

"Will you be there, Cas? When it gets to our end here…will you be there?" Dean knew the end of his and Sammy's life on earth wouldn't end happy. It would end in them fighting for this world. A world that doesn't know about Sam and Dean Winchester, always saving there world. Or the angel that is their best friend. It's amazing what the world doesn't know about these two boys and an angel. If only they knew. The only way Sam and Dean could accept and leave this world is if they both went together because one without the other was too hard to bare. It just wasn't a life. Their lives were hard and sad enough but they got through because the other was still there. And they both know all too well what it feels like to lose the other and thinking they're never coming back. But it doesn't stop them finding a way.

"Of course. Who do you think is going to be fighting with you both?"

"I don't think I really have thanked you properly for at the start dragging me out of hell and everything since then. We would be dead long go if it wasn't for you, Cas. I will never be able to thank you enough. But I think you know. Words aren't enough, but _you _know."

"I do. I'll always fight for my friends. Especially when they are Sam and Dean."

* * *

"You sure you don't want to say any longer with us?" Dean asked. He and Cas are leaned against the back of the car. Sam still hadn't woken up. That was one hell of a sleep.

It was coming into morning, the sky nearly fully bright. Around them was quiet. Dean had pulled up beside a lake. No one was around. He supposed it was a bit early yet for anyone else to be around.

"I better go back. And you and Sam have your next case to start." Cas is looking out towards the lake.

"Yeah, I guess so." Dean paused for a second before continuing. "Hey Cas…have you ever wondered what you would be like human?" He had always wondered what Cas would really be like.

"Yes. I'd like to hunt with you and Sam. I believe that I would try as much as possible to be a good human and hunter." Cas smiled a little before turning to Dean.

"Have you ever thought of being an angel?"

"What are you talking about? _I am_ an angel." Dean chuckled. He was in a way, wasn't he? He did his best and saved lives. He kept going after he had fallen many times.

"Stay human. It's better that way." Cas made his way away from Dean.

"Cas." Dean stood up and Cas turned back around. "Do I get a hug before you go?" Dean was more surprised he said it than Cas was hearing him say it. Dean took the few steps to Cas and pulled him in for a hug. There was about two other times where they had hugged that had happened over the years. This would be the third on since a year ago.

Cas didn't hesitate to put his arms around Dean's back. He smiled. He was never as close to anyone as he is with Dean Winchester. It was nice having someone who Cas could turn to if he needed help or just talk to. And the same went for Dean with Cas. They didn't need to show much affecting towards each other to know that the other cared a lot.

"You aren't _like_ my family. _You are_ my family, Cas."

When they pulled away that smile was still on Cas' face looking at Dean.

"I think this would you being a little emotional Dean? I thought as you say, _no click flick moments_."

"Well hey, look who's picking up on what I say." Dean chuckled as he shook his head. "I just love you, you son of a bitch. That's all."

Cas gave a little smile to Dean. He put his hand on Dean's shoulder, squeezing it tight and looked into his eyes.

"I finally_, truly_ know what it's like to have a family that cares so much." And with that he was gone. It always took Dean a few seconds to realize when Cas was gone. There was always that little ache in his heart when he went. But he always knew Cas would come back, no matter _where_, no matter _when_, he would _always_ come when Dean prayed.

* * *

_And scene :L Thanks for reading. Means a lot that you took the time to do it. And if you thought it was crap that's 10 minutes you will never get back mwahaha!_

_Drop a review and let me know what you thought. And if anyone wants me to write a one shot Cas and Dean story (with Sam of course, I love writing him or any other character with them) just tell me and I see if I would be able to write it and do my best :)_

_And if anyone would like to check out my two Cas & Dean video's on Youtube, there's the link to my first one!_

_ watch?v=IVRb2-c2qaA _

**_Castiel & Dean ~ If Anythings Worth Fightning For_**


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